Lately I’ve been curious about how overwhelm shows up in my life and how it impacts my behavior. One thing I can say for sure is that it brings a pretty consistent amount of procrastination. And we all know how procrastination feels in the end.
The following are the steps I’ve taken to explore overwhelm. I’ve included an example of where I’ve applied this and the results of doing so. I encourage you to explore how overwhelm shows up in your life — you may be surprised at what you find.
Overwhelm
The dictionary defines overwhelm as “to overcome completely in mind or feeling” (Merriam-Webster). That description feels accurate to me. When I’m overwhelmed, it’s like my mind is flooded with too many tasks, and instead of moving forward, I freeze.
I also think overwhelm can be experienced in a variety of different ways, so if this definition doesn’t feel quite right to you, that’s okay.
Exploring Overwhelm: My Typical Reaction
I have noticed that I experience overwhelm more frequently when I’m at home. It often shows up as a thought about a task I should be doing or a feeling of disappointment in myself for not having done something already.
I might think:
“You really should go switch the laundry over.”
“You are such a failure, you didn’t do what you should have done before.”
After these thoughts, another part of me shows up — a voice that feels like the voice of reason.
It says something like:
“You really do need to rest and you’re really comfortable right now. Don’t worry about it. Just keep safe.”
Keeping safe usually means continuing whatever activity I’m enjoying in the moment, even if it means things will be harder later.
I mean… why would I want to leave the present moment if I’m comfortable and calm? Who would?
So I usually agree with myself.
I curl back up under the covers and continue scrolling TikTok.
Then comes the shame.
“How could I have done it again?”
“Now I’m stuck looking for XYZ and I could have prevented this by taking three minutes to put something away.”
In this moment I’m often looking around the house for something I need but can’t locate. It’s annoying and completely avoidable.
It feels like there isn’t anything else I can do in that moment or in the moments to come.
There is no other way.
But there is another way.
The Other Way
When I first notice the thought or feeling that I “need” to complete some sort of action in the moment, I’ve realized I can either react or respond.
I’ve already come to the conclusion that reacting tends to lead to shame — and that’s not a result I like.
So I decided to try responding instead.
Responding
Merriam-Webster defines respond as “to react to something that has been said or done.” When I think about responding in my own life, it means giving myself a moment to pause and choose my next step instead of reacting automatically.
The moment you observe overwhelm is the moment you can practice choice.
The first two things you can do in that moment are simple:
Pause.
Then ask yourself:
“Could this action give me a positive experience now or in the future?”
If the answer is no, let it go. If the action you’re considering doesn’t align with your values, release it.
If the answer is yes, then it’s time to try something I call The First Five.
The First Five
The First Five is a behavioral momentum technique that encourages positive emotions through small intentional steps. These steps can help reduce overwhelm and make it easier to begin.
There are two ways you can approach it.
First Five Steps
In this version, you complete the first five small steps that would move you closer toward something aligned with your purpose or values.
These steps can be extremely small.
For example:
- Take out your phone
- Open your notes app
- Create a new page
- Write a title
- Write a two-word reminder
Or it could look like this:
- Walk down to the basement
- Take laundry out of the dryer
- Put the washing into the dryer
- Turn both machines on
- Walk back upstairs
Those five steps might be big or small. The goal is simply to create forward movement toward something that matters to you.
The First Five (Time Version)
Another option is to work in small increments of time.
Set a timer and begin working on the task. When the timer goes off, pause and check in with yourself again.
Ask the same question:
“Would continuing this action create a positive experience now or in the future?”
If the answer is yes, reset the timer and continue.
The most appealing part of this approach is that it can be flexible — seconds, minutes, or longer. The key is that the amount of time feels realistic and aligned for you.
No matter which version you try, something important happens:
You create progress.
And progress almost always leads to positive emotions. We are wired that way.
I’d love to hear about your experience exploring overwhelm. Have you noticed patterns in how it shows up in your life?
If you try The First Five, let me know how it works for you.
Leave a Reply